Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Anxious

I know that last week my parents were just as eager to hear good news as we were. They love us so very much and they know how much we want to be parents again that they were just beside themselves waiting for news. I've never experienced having that kind of strong desire for someone else until recently. As I mentioned last week, TOIAW will soon find out which graduate schools have accepted him and even though he's played it pretty cool, I can tell he's beginning to get nervous. Tonight he even called one of his top choices--and likely his best chance at getting into a "good" school--to ask them when he can expect to hear from them and they told him by the end of the week. My stomach will not stop doing flip flops; I am so nervous for him! I want this for him because he wants it so badly, however, I know that we are going to go to the place that God has chosen for us and it will be part of His plan. I can say this with certainty because as I look back on every move we've made, I can clearly see how God's love and protection has been poured out on us. For instance--and this is but a small, yet specific example--there was a job he really wanted once but it was given to someone else who TOIAW felt was less qualified than him and he was very hurt that he had been "passed up" for the position. Friends, if he had gotten that job you would not believe all the things that would be different about our lives right now! Just thinking about it blows my mind...oy!

And still, even though I know God has it under control, I am beside myself hoping and praying he opens an email at the end of the week that says, "YES! We want you!" It's his turn to have what he wants and hear good news. Like me, he has faced so much disappointment these past four years and it's time for things to change. Please, Lord, with all I have I want good news for him!

1 comment:

AKD said...

Oh, Rachel, you put things so beautifully. My husband applied for (and eventually got) a new job this winter - I kept praying that, if it was God's will, that this happiness would come to him. It was almost a physical longing for him to be happy - it sounds like just what you're saying. I am sending you both prayers and warm thoughts!! HUGS.