Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Not So Bad

Well, we ended up going to the Thanksgiving dinner after all. I took a pecan pie but skipped the cornbread dressing. We were the only couple (out of four) there who didn't have children. It was rather chaotic with everyone trying to feed their children so we never had everyone seated at the table which made for an odd dinner. The food was great though and we had a nice time. I was in a very bad mood in the cab on the way over (I'm far too embarassed to admit why but suffice it to say it had everything to do with me being terribly UNgrateful) but that soon disappeared once we arrived. The most remarkable part of the evening happened as things were wrapping up. TOIAW was talking to someone who works with him and I'm not even sure what they were discussing but I heard him say he lost his wife and daughter. TOIAW had a very confused look on his face and had a lot of difficulty asking his colleague what happened. He explained that his daughter died of SIDS and his wife couldn't handle the grief (he never fully explained that part but I shudder to think about what he might have said). TOIAW told him about Sarah and then we all three stood there in the corner trying so hard not to let the tears that filled our eyes spill out. TOIAW has worked with this guy for nearly four months and had no idea...but he told us that God has been faithful and he just takes one day at a time. He is remarried to a very kind and beautiful--in every sense of the word--woman and they have two small children.

The rest of the weekend was spent holed up in our apartment working on grad school applications. Some of which are very detailed and lengthy. [Gutsy Mom, I'm beginning to despise your alma mater and their 10-page application that has me typing in every class TOIAW has ever taken and divulging the balance of our financial accounts.] The essay writing process is very interesting for us and it goes a little something like this: TOIAW writes something and emails it to me. I read, reread, scratch my head, carry my very heavy laptop into the study and ask him what he meant to say, return to my work area, rewrite everything he wrote, and then email it back to him. We do this 2-3 times before sitting together and reading it aloud and finally agreeing on a finished product. It's exhausting but it will soon be over, thank you, Lord.

Tonight TOIAW is traveling so I'm locked into the safe room. The last time I did that was the night of the ill-fated positive pregnancy test. Let's hope tonight is less eventful!

Tomorrow I have to wake-up early for my date with Jillian Michaels. Later, Peeps :)


AKD said...

I am so very, very glad that you guys had a good time. I was thinking of you, and hoping that there was a peaceful day for you. I hope the stuffing wasn't too awful. :) (Are there a lot of US natives over there?)

Wow, that's just so amazingly coincidental and sad to hear about your husband's daughter and wife. There's just that kinship in grief, isn't there? I went to a support group once this summer, but couldn't handle going back - my story was too different from everyone else's, but it's just remarkable how grief ties you together. I'm so glad that he's found so much good, despite that invisible pain he carries. And I know that Sarah is with you every day, too.

That sounds... incredibly complicated! I have a good friend writing up her grad school apps right now, too - and she's just taking her GRE again. Hopefully the process goes by quickly for you both! I'm sure your fingers are tired. :)

I have faith that tonight will go/is going much more smoothly. :)

The Gutsy Mom said...

Well, you know what they say about my alma mater... the hardest prt is getting in! What are you guys applying for?

Incidentally, with Gutsy Dad in school, we have an EERILY similar routine going on when he asks for "help" with a paper.

Michele said...

I'm always blown away by the secrets we carry, especially when we connect by happenstance to someone else on the grief boat.