Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Shhh, Don't Tell Anyone

I'm completely scamming out of class today. I'm here at school right now but my teacher and I agreed to just "talk" today rather than work out of the books. I can barely stay awake even though it's something easy. I'm just so tired...I have no idea how all you moms out there deal with long term sleep deprivation. I'm in awe of you. I've only been experiencing it this week and I can barely function. No way should I operate heavy machinery right now. [By the way, just to be safe I include household appliances--dishwasher, washing machine, vacuum, oven--in the 'heavy machinery' category.] So, yeah, I'm having trouble sleeping again. How can someone so tired have difficulty sleeping? I still have a few sleeping pills left (five from a prescription for ten) but I am hesitant to take them. I'm paranoid about becoming addicted to drugs. Remember Nancy Reagan's D.A.R.E. program? I recall being told you could become addicted to a drug after only one use. I was one of five kids who took this to heart and it's been with me ever since. I was even hesitant to use the ibuprofen they gave me. This is all very ironic when you consider all the drugs I took to become and stay pregnant...

I've also been very emotional lately though it's difficult to know which came first: a new wave of sadness or sleeping difficulties/exhaustion? I'm too tired to think through that right now. So here I am weak and vulnerable yearning for a sleeping pill. Sure, it's innocent now but it's a slippery slope and soon I'll be living on the street begging for food. Okay, maybe not but still do me a favor and don't tell Nancy.

5 comments:

mlg- believe N miracles said...

I am sorry you are having trouble sleeping, I know how it is. Would reading a book, curling up with your pups or taking a bath help with the stress and maybe help you sleep?

Soapchick said...

I won't tell anyone. If you do take the sleeping pills we won't let you become an addict and end up on the street. One of us bloggers will come find you and do an intervention if necessary. Hopefully you can get some rest. Have you tried yoga? Doing that at night relaxes me quite a bit. Hugs to you Rachel.

SouthernAspirational said...

Try soaking your feet in hot (as hot as you can stand) water if you can't do an all out bath. It's worked wonders for me in the past.

Also, came across your blog a few days ago through Clemsongirl and I have been thoroughly entertained!You are quickly becoming a daily read!

mlg- believe-n-miracles said...

BTW- I nominated you for an award

The Gutsy Mom said...

Just say no! (But I won't tell Nancy either way.) Love you!