Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Better Now

Last night TOIAW didn't get home until 9pm. I began getting tired at 8:30. I stayed awake until 10 just so we could have some time together and when I tried to fall asleep I discovered I had hit the dreaded 'overly tired' point. This phenomenon is seen primarily in children who become cranky and fussy and fight sleep. I wasn't outwardly fussy and, trust me, I wasn't fighting sleep but it still took me nearly an hour to relax. After all that I didn't really even sleep well thanks to bad dreams and bathroom trips.

I woke-up at 7, got my shots, and sent TOIAW off to work and then it hit me, "I don't want to spend another entire day sitting in this house without a thing to do." That led to me feeling sorry for myself, worrying that I'll find out I'm not pregnant next week, and some googling to confirm that...umm, yeah 'cause google is just like a pregnancy test. Where did this end? Yep, with me sobbing and calling TOIAW who had to walk out of a meeting to talk me down off the ledge. He was very kind and sweet and reminded me why he's the one I always wanted.

I then called a friend who takes her children and a friend's child to swimming lessons every afternoon and asked if I could go along for the ride. I'm cool like that...inviting myself along (don't tell my mom, she taught me never to do that). So now I have something to do today even if it's only riding shotgun during carpool.

I also had an amazing time of Bible reading and prayer. I hope this makes sense because I have suddenly been hit with a wave of exhaustion. I was reading in Genesis 4 about Eve having her babies and it occured to me (probably because of a devotion I once read) that she did it alone without friends, sisters, a mother, or anyone to offer advice. She only relied on the Lord and that was enough. He was enough for her and He's enough for me. That, my friends, is how God told me to STOP GOOGLING and have faith. I find it odd that even though I have control of nothing at this point, I still have a hard time surrendering everything to Him. Odd, huh? We're working on it...

1 comment:

Tracy said...

It's because you're human. Eve didn't have a choice. Unfortunately, you have a lot more temptation (aka Google) than she did.

Hang in there, and I understand about keeping yourself occupied. It definitely makes the time pass more quickly.