Thursday, April 10, 2008

Your Majesty Queen Elizabeth II,

Ma'am, I wanted to sincerely thank you for your generous offer to feed my husband, TOIAW, US Army, lunch for the next fortnight. It is most gracious of you, indeed (considering the number of times I've paid the entrance fee to the Tower of London to see the Crown Jewels and hear the dreadful tale of Anne Boleyn, I think we're even). He has given me smashing reviews of the meals you serve to Your Majesty's troops going so far as to catagorize them as gourmet. Well done!

If you should ever need to send Princes William or Harry here to Themiddleofnowhere, Germany for training, rest assured they will be receive the very best of everything their rank affords them (you might consider promoting them a notch or four before shipping them off and I do speak from experience).

In light of the generosity you have already shown, I feel rather guilty making this request but, alas, I do have a small favor (or favour, as you say) to ask of you: Would you kindly facilitate the unscrewing of the situation in Basra, Iraq? Your Majesty's troops are in command of the area and I think we can both agree that things are not going as smoothly as we would hope.

Thanks again for hooking a sister up on the not having to make lunches at 5 am thing.

Very truly yours,

No comments: