Saturday, February 2, 2008

Nothing You Should Worry About

Any minute now an escaped convict could break into our house and kill us all. Sure we have a German Shepherd but she'll just go grab her ball and annoy him/her/them until they throw it (there might also be some licking). TOIAW just spouted off something about him being an airborne Ranger, trained to kill with his bare hands, blah, blah, blah. None of this is enough to stop me from panic.

You see, there is some sort of dention center located about a mile from us and they just sounded off their alarm four times. A piercing alarm reminiscent of those air raid sirens in WWII movies. I'm assuming the allies would have notified us if they were planning a bombing raid, so that leaves only one plausible scenario: Someone has escaped!

I urged TOIAW to call his work and ask them if they had information. He refused, so I called. The very polite man who answered the phone was unware of the detention facility and put me on hold while he "investigated." I could hear him relaying what I said to a third party. He then returned to the phone and said, "Ma'am, that's nothing you should worry about." Ummm, okay, thanks. TOIAW didn't think that was an acceptable answer but he didn't call back to get more information. He did lower all the metal window shades (at my request) and dug out his machete. Apparently he has never watched Oprah on self-defense day. Everyone knows criminals will strip you of your weapon and use it against you. Duh.

I'm hoping for the best while preparing for the worst. My first step was to write to you, my dear friends and faithful readers. Now I'm going to call my family and freak them out.


The Gutsy Mom said...

Holy God. I'm assuming that no news is good news, but now you realize you are going to have to post quite regularly to let us know that you're okay.

The Gutsy Mom said...

Oh, and seriously, who needs that many dragonfly stamps? For real.